In his book, Emissary of Light, James Twyman tells the story of his encounter, in Bosnia, with a group calling themselves the Emissaries of Light, who entrusted him with a mission. After his return to the United States, he was no longer sure how to fulfil it......
My uncertainty about my "function" in life paralyzed me. There was no one to turn to since I had told no one else about the Emissaries. I became very depressed. A friend who lived on an island off the coast of Maine offered to put me up for a while. This seemed like a good place to escape to. I was tired of Boston and longed to be by the ocean. Each day I walked around the island hoping a wave would wash a bottle onto the shore that would have the answer to all my problems. I was beginning to feel like the Emissaries had made a terrible mistake. Maybe I wasn't the one to bring this message to the world. Maybe I should just forget about the whole thing.
Several weeks went by. I had lost touch with most of my friends and had little interest in anything at all. Walking around the island was beginning to get old. When I picked up my guitar the music was hollow and lifeless. I tried to forget everything that had happened to me. I nearly succeeded in convincing myself that it never happened at all. Or perhaps I was set up. Maybe these people were nothing more than crazy dreamers sitting out in the woods making themselves feel important. I saw what I wanted to see. It was time to forget it all and get on with my life. I couldn't let this craziness destroy me.
A dream
Then one night I had a dream. I was standing outside the meditation building. It was broad daylight and I wondered if session was going on. I went inside. Teacher was sitting there looking at me. He motioned for me to come over to him.
‘Are you ready yet?’ he asked.
‘If you're asking if I'm ready to start, the answer is that I'm beyond ready. I've been wandering around for months waiting for a clue. I've just about given up. Why can't you just tell me how I'm supposed to do this? You obviously know what needs to be done.’
‘Only you can decide,’ he said calmly. ‘It must be your decision. You have so many gifts, Jimmy. It doesn't even matter how you do it. Just begin somewhere.’
‘I don't know if I can. I've practically forgotten everything you taught me. And yet I have no energy to do anything else. I feel like I'm caught in the middle and can't move. I can't find peace anywhere, whether I'm in Croatia or Chicago or Boston. Everywhere I go there is nothing but confusion.’
‘Don't look for peace here, Jimmy. But find it everywhere.’
I looked up at him. ‘What did you say? That's the telepathic message all of you used to send me at the end of session. “Seek not peace here, but find it everywhere.” You told me that you would tell me what it means, but you never did.’
‘You weren't ready,’ he said. ‘When you were here you thought that the work we do is going to bring peace to the world. You perceived a violent world, then set up the circumstances that would make it peaceful. This isn't what the Emissaries do at all. We don't perceive a violent world. It's that simple. We see a world that is living with the illusion of violence, and we project the truth, an experience of peace that has no opposite. This is the choice humanity has been unable to make for itself. Our mission is not to bring peace to where it isn't, but to reveal peace where it is hidden. In other words, peace is all that is real. Even when violence seems to exist, even when war and injustice persist, the Emissaries project the vision of truth that doesn't recognize anything but itself. This is how we save the world, by holding a vision of the world that it is afraid to see, the only vision that is real – that the world is already healed, already whole, and already saved.’
The only choice we ever really make
Teacher stood up and motioned for me to follow him over to the door. It was a beautiful day, just as it had been during that past summer. I stood beside him, just inside the door, looking out.
‘Lasting peace will never come to a world that thinks it has a choice between peace and war. The only choice you ever really make is between truth and illusion. When you choose truth you discover that peace is always present, regardless of your awareness of its presence. When you choose illusion it is like closing your eyes to what is right in front of you. And this is what it means to wake up from the dream of separation. It's like opening your eyes. Reality was never compromised by your dream. It remained whole and unchanged while you made up your own world where hatred and fear seemed to have meaning.
‘ "Seek not peace here" means do not try to fix a world that was born from the idea of conflict. Look past that vision of the world. Seek peace where it really is, within you. Then extend that peace wherever you are, to whoever you meet. Then the world that was born from conflict will change by itself. It will begin to reflect the new choice you have made, the choice to see peace where it really is. In other words, do not look for peace outside yourself. This is the surest way to never find it. The world and everything in it appears to be "outside". Go within, to your deepest thoughts and desires. Seek those parts of your mind that are blocking your experience of peace. When you have discovered these blocks and dissolved them in love, then peace will be revealed – first in your mind, then in the world.
‘Do not believe those who tell you that you must change the world. It is easy to see that such attempts have always brought temporary results at best. Change your mind about the world. See the world as an extension of your mind. Find peace and love within and it will automatically project itself outward into the world.'
He stepped out of the door and I followed him.
‘The second part, "but find it everywhere," refers to this shift. This is the miracle of enlightenment. When you seek peace where it is, within, then you find it everywhere, even in the world. When you seek peace where it is not, or outside, then it is nowhere to be found. When you find peace within, you are able to see the truth. Conflict may still seem to exist, but you now see past it. This is the function of any Emissary of Light. By experiencing peace as the only true reality, we see it present everywhere, even where conflict and war seem to rule. Then we project that vision to humanity, keeping the spark alive that remembers truth. We do not try to end wars, but to dissolve the untrue ideas that cause war. We see peace even when it is hidden beneath centuries of hate and fear. By experiencing the reality of peace, we overlook the unreality of conflict. This is how the Emissaries heal the world.’
We began walking in the direction of Teacher's hut. The dream was completely real, as if I weren't dreaming at all, but back in Croatia. We walked past gardens and the huts belonging to the other Emissaries. I wondered where everyone else was. It was strange to see the community so still and quiet. After a few minutes we arrived at the hut. A fire was burning as usual. We both sat down in our assigned places.
Healing with the truth
‘Seeing peace everywhere is the culmination of all the lessons I have taught you, Jimmy. When you have realized that only God's vision of humanity is real, it will be easy to see past illusions and project truth. Peace is everywhere. You can choose to see peace, or you can choose to see violence, but that doesn't change the truth. Your function is to heal with the truth. Stop trying to bring peace to war. Bring peace to peace and then you'll know what you're to do.
‘Do you remember when I told you about seeing past the masks people wear? Our masks are the ways we hide who we really are. You can't heal a mask, but you can heal what is behind it. And how do you do that? Simply by seeing that the face behind the mask is already perfect. It is already healed. Healing, then, is simply helping people take off their masks and showing them who they really are. It is the same in bringing peace to the world. Violence and conflict are the masks the world wears to keep from seeing the peace that lies beneath the surface. You will heal the world by taking off the mask, by showing the beautiful reality that has never changed.'
The chant finally made sense. Suddenly I understood everything. This was the key that made all the lessons work. The Peace of God is all that is real. This is the foundation of truth. In that instant I knew exactly what to do. It was all so simple. I couldn't believe I had resisted it. The answer was all around me, whispering the obvious solution into my closed ear. I had made a decision before I even met the Emissaries, and I was determined to stick with it. I suddenly realized that this was what I really wanted.
‘That's right,’ he said to me. ‘If I had told you what you had to do you would have said the same thing you've been saying. Do what you have to do and the people who will help you will show up by themselves. Humanity is ready for this message, Jimmy. They will believe you, I assure you. They want to believe in the Emissaries of Light. The world has been waiting for people to tell the truth, the truth they have always felt inside them, but that they could never quite identify. Tell them what the Emissaries have done for them. But most of all, teach them what you have learned, that they are ready to take a new step, a step so tiny it will hardly be noticed. And yet this tiny step is a leap past the conflict and fear that has seemed real for so long. Humanity is ready, but it must believe it is ready. This is your purpose, to declare its readiness. And even when the Emissaries are no longer needed, I'll be there whenever you need me. I am within you, right where I have always been. You will know what to do. You've always known what to do. Now go do it.'
Suddenly I was alone. I woke up and sat up in my bed. I remembered thinking before I left the Emissaries that my lessons were not over, knowing somehow that there was a missing piece. But I had to come to the end of my rope before I saw it. I did know what to do. It was suddenly so clear. And I knew I didn't have any time to waste. I got out of the bed, turned on the light, and sat down at the desk. I took out a blank sheet of paper and wrote two lines:
Emissary of Light
by James F Twyman
People will believe me, I thought. They'll believe because they need to. It was midnight. I wrote for twelve hours straight.
From Emissary of Light, copyright 1996 by James F Twyman, published in the UK in 2002 by Findhorn Press.
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