It's best to begin by just admitting that the world is crazy. The world really doesn't make sense.
We are polluting ourselves into a corner. All of our natural systems are in decline. We are growing at a population rate that the earth may not be able to support. We act as though our resources will last forever, instead of replenishing them and building a sustainable future.
There is enough food produced throughout the world to provide sufficient calories for each person on the planet. However, hundreds of thousands of people die each year of starvation, and more than a billion people on our planet are significantly undernourished.
We say the future depends on our children, but we don't spend a lot of time with them. The time that parents spend with their children in meaningful interaction is measured in minutes per day, while the time children spend watching television is measured in hours. We hope that our schools will do the job we aren't doing at home, but we pay schoolteachers a tiny percentage of what we pay professional athletes.
We isolate our teenagers from the world, quarantining them in school buildings. We give them little responsibility, and demand of them even less. By cutting them off from the adult world, where they could develop a sense of competence and belonging, we leave them alienated and open to joining gangs that will give them a sense of belonging.
We want our country to be built on merit, but who you know is often more important than what you know. We say we are for equality, but racial and ethnic minorities have had to fight for an equality that has not yet been attained.
Many people have turned away from the human values that have served all the generations that came before us. Some people have decided that all things are relative and subjective. They attribute no meaning to anything, and then complain that life is empty and has no meaning.
Yes, the world is crazy. If it doesn't make sense to you, you're right. It really doesn't make sense. The point is not to complain about it. The point is not to give up hope. The point is this: The world doesn't make sense, but you can make sense. You can find personal meaning. That's why, back in 1968, I wrote the Ten Paradoxical Commandments. They are about finding personal meaning in a crazy world. Here they are:
- People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centred. Love them anyway.
- If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
- f you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
- The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
- Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
- The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
- People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
- What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
- People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
- Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.
If you accept the Paradoxical Commandments, you will find personal meaning in a crazy world. You will be free to live the paradoxical life.
Following the Paradoxical Commandments will help you to be the person you are really meant to be. You will be liberated from the things that are not the substance of life and do not satisfy. You will be focused on what is truly important and enriching. When you live the Paradoxical Commandments, each action you take will be complete, because each action will bring its own meaning.
How do you live the paradoxical life? You do it by focusing on others and becoming part of something bigger than yourself. The meaning you need ‘inside’ can be achieved by looking ‘outside’ – to loving and helping others. The poet Emily Dickinson said, more than a century ago:
If I can stop one Heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain
Or help one fainting Robin
Unto his Nest again
I shall not live in vain.
When you help others in both big and little ways, you know that you are not living in vain. Making a difference in the lives of others gives meaning to your own life. There is really no other path to walk, no other option that can generate hope. It is still the right option, even if you fail to achieve what you want to achieve.
There is a wonderful story by Jean Giono titled The Man Who Planted Hope and Grew Happiness. The man in the story lived alone in a barren area that had once been a forest with its own villages. His life was simple: He went out each day and planted trees. Year after year, decade after decade, seed by seed, he kept planting. The trees began to grow into a forest, which held water in the soil so that other plants could grow, birds could make nests, streams could flow, and families could return and build homes again. By the end of his lifetime, he had totally transformed and restored the natural environment of an entire region.
This is a good metaphor for a meaningful life: Work each day to plant hope and grow happiness for others. The work may be simple and modest, yet it's powerful and long-lasting in its impact.
From Anyway, copyright 2001 by Kent M Keith, published in the UK in 2002 by Hodder Mobius.
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